Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
