this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
