she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
