they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
