So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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