Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
