And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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