if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Four minutes until I can fart!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
