Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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