I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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