The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
