i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
they're like a gay fantastic four
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
