stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
