he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
