I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
