And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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