Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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