i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
