who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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