Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
