hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
