I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
