there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
