oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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