He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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