I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life