yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back