The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.