Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.