So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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