We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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