Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
