I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
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I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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