just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
