the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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