we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
worst night to have a conscience
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
