I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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