The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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