My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
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Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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