And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
