just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
