Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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