Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
