Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
