Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
