He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize