I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
