my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
