Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
