your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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