i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
