It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
