dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
