I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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