She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How external is "for external use only"?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
