So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
