Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
