Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
