u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have feelings that need drinking.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
