wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
