Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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