Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
